Tonight I had some time alone. I put the TV on and the internet connection was so bad it wouldn’t even load a show, so I was like “okay, point taken…” and I switched the TV off and put an audiobook on and started to sketch. I was sat sketching and realized that I wasn’t even really listening to the book. It was just noise. So I pressed pause on my book (man that sounds weird) and looked up from my sketchbook. I’m sat in my tiny living room across from a large window (well, large in relation to the size of the room). As I’m looking out the window I can see a mist in the sky…it had been pouring rain earlier and I was trying to work out what I was seeing. It was very fine rain. The clouds were moving fast in the distance and my entire line of view is tree tops. What a peaceful sight. Look up says a voice in my head.
I’m reminded of the countless times in my life that I’ve been on a nature walk, focussed on the path beneath my feet instead of the beauty around me. My eyes down, looking at the ground. What a metaphor. I see it parallel my experience tonight. The noise robbing me of the beauty of what’s right in front of me. Look up. I get so focussed on walking that I don’t take the time to stop and stare. I remember my roommate in college once was gone for a couple hours, when she came back I asked her where she’d been and she said she’d been in the woods staring at a spider as it built its web. That’s always stuck with me. She knew how to be present. Something I have not always been good at doing. I spent years distracting myself from my pain. Look up the voice says. Breathe. Let silence be your friend. Let silence open your eyes to the wonder of what is around you. It’s not always easy, but silence is for you. Silence can teach you in it’s revealing of awkward feelings and painful thoughts. Deep breaths. Holding the space. Walk with the Divine. What is the Spirit revealing to you. Look up.